Below is a full transcript of the ceremony itself per request after the original livestream had some audio issues:
Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your ears.
I am the Lord Reverend, Jo Louie.
We are gathered here, today…or probably there, and maybe later. Time and space are relative under these wibbly and wobbly circumstances, aren't they? I mean, they are normally. Where are you, really? Your bodies are there, in your seats, or, you know [gesture vaguely], but your hearts and your minds are also here with these two. And it is with the essences of ourselves that we bear witness to the union of Kiri Sandra Callaghan and Katrina Angelique Rockwood.
I promise that after we are done here, I will not call either of you by your full names unless you have done something remarkably stupid. Thankfully, many of those moments are behind you. Without those foibles we would not be here today with you. More undoubtedly lie ahead, but together, your strength and resolve will be boundless. You may not feel it in yourself, but you feel it in the other. This is what makes the two of you amazing.
That one time that two elves and a Tiefling walked into the faire…you posted our pic on Facebook, and Angelique asked us (though I now read that as you) to come say hi. Upon our book of faces, after going back and forth, Angelique wrote “No worries. SMILEY FACE EMOJI. I'm sure our paths will cross again.” We walk around, and this dashing roguish paladin hops off stage after her performance, and I saw the looks you gave each other. After the “rogue” left, Kiri, you had this utterly giddy look. I gave you “the squint.” You know, this one. [FRY SQUINT] And you told me that nothing was going on. [ANOTHER SQUINT] “Though there was a dramatic kiss just a few days ago.” This was my first interaction with Angelique. I knew that there was something special between you two, but it had not had time to grow. Here we are, three years later, and it has indeed grown.
Your love and support of each other is why I traveled across the country (the short way, but still, it’s a pandemic) to stand here before you and take part of this. Each of you makes the other more whole in a beautiful way. You encourage and embolden the other to be and do your best.
You encourage all of us to be better. The communities that you came from, and the ones that you’ve built, will provide advantage should you ever need us.
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks but bears it out even to the edge of doom.
We know well of doom. It is a fearful thing, a spectre of chaos and despair, and is marked by isolation and division. It haunts us even now like a shroud. But here we are to part this fog and cast “dispel darkness” by combining these two celestial beings into a binary orbit.
Through dangers untold, and hardships unnumbered, you have both fought your way here to the castle beyond your respective Goblin Cities, to share and celebrate the love you have discovered. For your will is strong, and your kingdoms as great. Fear has no power over you.
Now, on to the formalities.
Is there anyone among us that objects to this union? *DRAMATIC PAUSE*
[After a resounding cry of no from the chat, JO turns past a page of contingency plans]
Excellent, no grand gestures. However, if you have anything that made you think twice, please message me. I love me some good tea.
Now join hands, and with your hands your hearts.
You have written your own vows, so who would like to start?
First of all, I'd like to say: HOW DARE YOU?
I had the idea of love ALL figured out until you. Before you, I knew that there were no such thing as soul mates, or destined mates. And that was okay!
You find partners to love, to learn from to grow, and more often, to grow apart from. There's nothing wrong with that. It's a wonderful, beautiful thing. And my life has been blessed with some wonderful past partners, partners who helped me become who I am today.
But then you had the AUDACITY to come along and prove me wrong.
Before you, I didn't know I had the capability to have a feeling this big, let alone have that feeling be love.
Thank you for turning my world upside down.
With my opening arguments out of the way, and with the court's permission, I'd like to move to Article 6 of the Vows.
For context, for some who may not know, while I never grew up dreaming of a wedding, I did grow up dreaming of becoming a knight.
In my defense, at the time, it seemed more plausible.
But as I stand here now before you, on our wedding day, I know that this is the higher station.
Where a knight pledges fealty to a land or ruler, I get to pledge mine to you.
So please know that when I make these vows, I make them with the same commitment and fervor of a Knight's Oath.
Kiri, you are magic.
Not just because of what you put out into the world: Whimsey, Hope, Creativity, this AMAZING community that you've built, but who and what you are at your core: Magic.
I vow that I will not take for granted the gift and privilege it is to know and honor your truest self.
I vow to support you in all of your endeavors and encourage your unbridled curiosity.
I vow to be your champion, to defend you and your heart from any that may be out to cause harm.
I vow that I will continuously work to better myself. Not just for you, but for us. You deserve a partner that keeps reaching, keeps trying, failing, getting back up, and trying again.
Our natural state is fantasy. We see magic in the air. It is the most beautiful life with you.
But sometimes this world becomes harsh and suffocating. There will be hard times. There will be impossible times. There will be times where it would be easier to walk away.
I VOW to fight for us. I vow to listen, to be patient, and to put in the work for us.
Remember what I told you on that Pirate's rocky shore: I'm not going anywhere.
You are worth fighting for. You are worth staying for. As long as the love lasts, as long as you'll have me, as long as you want me, I am yours.
I will love you to the end of time and beyond.
I’ve written about a million drafts of these vows. Tomorrow it will be a million and one. In trying to write down these promises to you, I’ve come to realize this contract between us is a living document. It changes just as we do with each day. So this list of promises will grow ever longer. Ever stronger. They’re the best thing I’ll ever write, and yet they’ll never be finished. And they’re really only meant for one audience. Still, I hope you’ll indulge my rough draft, just as you have done with every other piece of writing I’ve brought you. And know that I’m open to notes and constructive criticism.
I have been a fiercely independent being since… I was born. My parents can attest that even before one year, if I set my mind to something, I would do it. No meant do it yourself, and as I grew, it became very clear that they had strongly prepared me against ever being truly dependent on anyone but myself. And while I have leaned on friends and loved ones through hard times, I have truly never needed anyone.
So when I tell you that I want you in my life, it’s important you understand the full weight of my meaning. When I tell you I want you by my side, it is not because I cannot live without you, but because I have lived without you. And I never want to go back to that existence. You bring magic everywhere you go. You aren’t the air I need to breathe, you’re the dream I work for every day. You are not essential to existing, but you are what makes each day a joy to live. You encourage me, you inspire me, you make me better every day just by letting me know you.
I promise to always bring whimsy into your day. I promise to protect you from all threats--including but not limited to spiders. I promise to always try to understand what’s going on in a football game, and at least pretend that all the math involved isn’t entirely superfluous. I will always run with any bit you throw me, especially if it makes you laugh. I promise to encourage you in your creative endeavors, to be your cheerleader for every punctuation and every direction you give. I promise to hold you when you feel sad, or scared--even if it’s just from a bad dream. I will take care of you when you are sick, or ill. I promise to never judge your feelings. I promise that I will listen, even when it’s about something hard. I promise to talk out our problems. To communicate what I need, and listen to your needs. And when I inevitably make a mistake--as we are both bound to do countless times during our lives together--I promise that I will apologize and take steps to learn from that mistake.
I will love you. No matter what. I will love you when things feel perfect, and I will love you when it feels like everything has fallen apart. I will love you when we disagree, or are finishing each other's sentences. I will love you when you are confident in your reflection and I will love you even in the moments when you feel you cannot even love yourself.
I will, on no uncertain terms, do anything for you. In this life and the next. And every one beyond that. As long as we’re together, life is everything I ever wanted it to be. The rest is just sprinkles
Do you, Katrina Angelique Rockwood take Kiri Sandra Callaghan to be your wife and companion, partner in all things, through darkness and light, and thus consent to this union?
Do you, Kiri Sandra Callaghan, take Katrina Angelique Rockwood to be your wife and companion, partner in all things, through darkness and light, and thus consent to this union?
It is my honor and my privilege to pronounce you wife and wife.
ANGELIQUE: May I kiss the fae?